Wednesday, June 29, 2005

That bee in my bonnet.

When I decide I want something, I want it immediately. I do not want to pass GO and collect $200. Fuck the $200. Let me advance to Park Place RIGHT NOW.

Sometimes this comes in handy. The first half of my career consisted of accomplishments I made after someone either directly or indirectly told me they didn't think I could/should/would do it. And sometimes, I just come out looking crazy.

We are renovating our kitchen. This has been an exercise in patience (not doing too good) and humility (doing only slightly better). We have had the stream of contractors who must be hoping for a 300K gut and redo, and have exactly zero interest when we tell them we just want to scrape our humble kitchen and bathroom and start over. We've had the contractors with zero imagination try to sell us boxed Home Depot cabinets....the kind you would buy to house tools in the garage. And then we've had the cabinet companies.

My hairdresser (who has a guy for everything. Need jewelry? Hardwood floors? A Jenn Air Range Hood? She has a guy.) recommended a specific Falls Church cabinet company, and we went trooping in with visions of bringing our kitchen into this century. It started well enough: a sales guy (let's call him Greg) gave us a "Kitchen Planning Sheet" (read: a grid like in 10th grade geometry) and an assignment: draw our kitchen to scale and give it back to him. We did.

I emailed it to him. I faxed it to him. I left him a voice mail making sure he got the email and fax. He left a return voice mail and said we'd hear from him by Friday.

Friday came and went. I called at the end of the day and got a voice mail saying Greg was out of the office until Tuesday.

Before I continue, I should point out that this guy is a youngster. The type of guy who looks like every weekend is spent on Dewey Beach in a cycle of getting drunk and being hungover. A guy who is probably a barrel of laughs, but not necessarily one you should expect much from in terms of kitchen cabinets.

I called the store, and a bitchy woman told me that she couldn't do anything, because Greg was out of the office.

I called another store, asking if I could transfer our account there. I called our friends, the husband of which couple is employed by the company in another state. I called the corporate office.

This morning, a mass email went out to the entire company about customers trying to get in touch with the Falls Church store. I am the official over reactor of Kitchen Cabinets. I have caused company memos and phone calls. An apologetic Greg got on the phone with me today (after the corporate office tracked him down) and told me he had to go out of town suddenly and had been suffering from a sinus infection besides.

Read: "My friends got a last minute beach house and I was hungover for two days."

It's okay, Greg. You couldn't possibly have known the level of obsession I could rise to when I want something. You probably think cabinets aren't anything to get panties in a twist over. You were being your normal, youthful, albeit slacker, self. I apologize for stirring up the hornet's nest the way I did.

Now. Can I get a discount?

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