Tuesday, August 9, 2005

Shh! I'm Mad At You.

One thing which has struck me about marriage are the many and varied ways in which two people can conduct an argument. Previous to saying "I do", I had my arguments the usual way: a discussion would escalate into an argument, and sometimes either I or my companion would yell. Then we'd calm down and either part ways or compromise. It worked that way for the better part of thirty-odd years.

Marriage presents an entire menu of options for arguments, however, because you are together more often and therefore forced to conduct arguments in the most unusual of circumstances. This was apparent last night, as my husband and I attempted to settle a few differences; we in our bedroom, and my in laws tucked in across the hall.

In the words of Elmer Fudd, we had to be wevy wevy qwuiet.

My husband and I have two different tactics for arguing. Mine is more like a mountain...a slow and steady climb to anger, a brief peak, and then a quick decline (generally paved with regret for the things I said - or thought of saying - while on the peak). My husband's is more like a car crash. He hums along steadily, unaffected, until he crashes in a brief flash of anger he immediately regrets. He'll say, "Goddammit!" and then apologize for speaking that way to me before the word has even cooled in the air.

So there we are, last night, me pacing on the side of the bed ranting. Have you ever tried to pace and rant without anyone hearing you? I was tiptoeing back and forth and blowing fierce whispers in the general direction of my poor husband, who probably heard about every fourth word. As far as I can tell, he believes I am upset because his 'parents and boundaries of foolish move country our pray meal!'

This morning, post-game, my husband called to tell me he loves me and to ask how he gets himself into these messes. I chose to take the question as rhetoric, as I was not quite certain if his parents or his wife was the said mess.

And as for the argument? Still unresolved.

The next time we have overnight guests, I'm putting pencils and paper by the bed.

1 comment:

Beth Danae said...

that's hilarious... Pencils by the bed, yes I too have been in the situation of trying to argue quietly. I think the last time was on our cruise vacation no less, our cabin neighbors were also our dinner mates, and the walls are thin.

Marriage...