Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Pillow Talk

My husband and I should really stop attempting to have conversation when we are both exhausted and in bed. From last night:

Me: My toes are cold.
Him: Poor toes (offers his leg).
Me: It will be difficult for me to carry your child if I don't have toes.
Him: I promise it's not cold enough for you to lose your toes, honey.

{silence}

Me: Do you really know what my toes look like?
Him: What?
Me: I mean, could you pick my feet out of a lineup?
Him: (thinking) Hmmm. Would everyone else be black, too? Because if not, I'm pretty sure I could pick your feet out of....
Me: YES, of course, that goes without saying! To make it fair. Everyone else is black, too.
Him: I think I could. Sure.

{silence}

Him: Do you think you could pick out MY feet?
Me: Yes. Definitely.
Him: Why?
Me: Because I look at your feet all the time.

{silence}

Him: Honey?
Me: Mmmm?
Him: Why are you looking at my feet so much?
Me: I don't know. They're interesting.

{silence}

Me: (grabbing mobile phone)
Him: What are you doing?
Me: Sending myself a voice memo. I'm going to blog about this.
Him: You're going to blog about my feet?
Me: No! I mean, sort of. I'm going to blog about how stupid a conversation we can create.

{silence}

Me: Honey, can you turn over and face the other way?
Him: Why, you want to spoon me?
Me: No. I just want you to face the other way.
Him: Well, that's not so nice.
Me: I don't like to breathe into each other's faces. And besides, the man spoons the woman.
Him: Who made that rule?
Me: It's how we do it in America. Woman spooning man is some London thing you're trying to sneak in.
Him: (silence)
Me: Sigh. Okay, I'll spoon you.

At this point the dog audibly sighed, as if to say, "How did I get stuck with this pair?"

And they say communication in marriage is down. :)

1 comment:

Beth said...

LOL! This was great, but I think the spooning part was the best!