Tuesday, April 25, 2006

I Ain't Scared Of No Ghost

Bin Laden and his tapes are pissing me off.

How can a person who has been hiding in caves for five years even remotely consider himself to be a contender? Because he makes us afraid? That is hardly an accomplishment. Were I to pick up an Uzi and step out into the hallway right now, all of my coworkers would be afraid. Of. The. Uzi. Me? They would just think I was crazy.

I think the problem is that no one is addressing him on his level. He's a street thug. Leaders and Generals march, defend and set up camp alongside their soldiers. Street thugs send out underlings to do their bidding while they hide in their best friend's mama's basement. I think we need to send a street message to Osama.

Specifically: Bring it. Stop making pansy assed tapes and commenting on world activities. Consider growing a pair and stepping out of the cave. Address the people you hate head on. Otherwise, I suggest we just stop listening. The next time a news organization says the words "Bin Laden tape", flip to Comedy Central. Open a book. Let's send him a clear message:

We're tired of your sound bites. In fact, in return, here's a sound for you: bite us.

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