Friday, May 5, 2006

Pay It Forward?

It's time to put my foot down. You would think that by now, people would realize this on their own. Apparently not. Therefore, I am officially announcing to the world that no matter what the subject matter, I am NOT going to forward your email on to five to ten more people to keep bad things from happening to me.

The Chain Letter is out of control.

I have a friend who insists on sending these to me, all the while admitting that she doesn't even read them herself. THEN WHY ARE YOU SENDING THEM? I have asked this question multiple times. Instead of an answer, I receive more chain emails. The ones which particularly irritate me are the ones which state that if I fail to forward the message, I am ashamed of God and no longer love Jesus. Because apparently, I missed the commandment which compels us to go forth and teach all nations via electronic means.

These email hoaxes have been around long enough for everyone to know about them, but they still pile up in my inbox from reasonably sane people. My son, who has had email for approximately fifteen seconds, does not send me forwarded junk. My sister, who has had email for ten years, particularly delights in sending items which promise some hilarious onscreen antic if I'll only forward it to seven people right away. How can this be?

I really, strongly prefer that people email me with actual letters. Business letters. Personal letters. Does not matter. Some sort of update which is of interest to me in consideration of the relationship we have. Perhaps the occasional, extremely funny and incredibly unique joke. There is no room in that preference for my having to scroll past miles of forwarding headers only to discover that you still believe Microsoft is going to send us each a dollar for every person we send the message to.

I know I can hit delete and move on with life, however I am stupid enough to open many of these emails in hope of getting actual correspondence. I once tried to filter items which had FW or FWD in the subject line directly to trash, and ended up missing an invitation to a group event sent by a man who was simply and outstandingly gorgeous.

Life made up for that by sending me my husband, yes. But still. I could be married to a gorgeous philanderer right now, and have an appointment with a divorce attorney to take him for all he has next Monday. Do you see the financial impact here?

I'm kidding. Really: I shouldn't have to filter my email to avoid receiving junk from people I actually know. Restrain yourself. Consider checking out every once in a while.

And please. If you simply must send a chain letter, don't send it to me.


Missy said...

I am so with you on this one! LOL

kerry said...

I hate them too!!!