Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Ode to the Bogey Man

Bogey Man, as we enter into Halloween month, I have a confession:

I. Am so freaking scared. Of you.

I am scared of the dark. I am scared of turning on the light in the dark, and not being able to see. I am scared when I sit with my back to a door or window when I'm alone. I don't like looking into corners, or staring into darkness, and when we have a power outage, the first thing I do is scream.

I am a bona fide, card carrying, scaredy-cat.

I'm writing this because I just watched that episode of Star Trek: Next Generation which gives me nightmares. It's the episode in which several Enterprise crew members are kidnapped (if you don't know what the Enterprise is, then, well, uh... God Bless You). They are abducted by spooky looking aliens who click instead of talk and have big, huge, bug eyes, just like the pictures drawn by all those people who claim to have been abducted by aliens. (BTW, I am scared of aliens, too).

I don't know why I do this to myself. It's not as if I'm not already nightmare prone. I spent most of my childhood waking up screaming, or sleepwalking. My parents thought nothing of finding me downstairs in my pajamas at three in the morning. They only became concerned when we installed an alarm system, because they didn't want to find out what happens when a teenager is violently woken from her sleepwalk by a shrieking alarm. Luckily, they always caught me before I opened that door (going where, I could not begin to tell you).

Even now, I have nightmares easily. If I'm upset? Nightmare. Hot? Nightmare. Sleeping alone (this means both without my husband and without a Bible. When it comes to me sleeping, they are interchangeable) - nightmare. I have nightmares if they play the slow motion music on a Lifetime movie. My husband is so used to me waking up screaming that he doesn't even fully wake up anymore. He just says my name, which wakes me up, assures me that no, there are no tarantulas crawling through my hair, and goes back to sleep.

And I've made peace with my nightmares. I make sure I'm cool and calm at bedtime, I keep two Bibles on my nightstand for late night, husband's in the bathroom and I woke up alone emergencies. Yet every now and then, I just can't help myself. I watch something scary, knowing it's going to freak me out for several nights.

Now this - purposely watching something scary - my husband's not so fond of. Being followed to the bathroom at two in the morning is not really his idea of a sexy move.

So WHY did I watch that episode? And why do I google pictures of ghosts when I'm bored or look up haunted houses (in my childhood, I used the encyclopedia. The World Book entry for vampires scared the shit out of me - look it up).

I need to get this under control. I mean, I haven't entirely gone crazy: I've never seen and never will see "The Exorcist" or "The Omen". But I can't continue to watch spooky assed television and expect to wake up refreshed. I need more discipline.

And wouldn't you know it - I think a bug has flown into our office. Great. Now I can scream about Worf AND bugs tonight. Splendid.

Oh well. Here's hoping my husband doesn't have a drink of water before bed.

1 comment:

Dilly Dilly said...

I am scared of swampy areas where scary men hang out and unknown creatures reside. And so last night I watched the episode of Survivorman where he is lost for 7 days in the swamps of Georgia with only a backpack. Even made him afraid of the Bogey Man. Good dreams that night... :-(