Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Wink, Wink, Nudge, Nudge....

I once worked with a winker.

You know winkers. They wink when they believe they are saying something clever. They wink when they believe you have done them a special favor. They wink as a means of greeting. They are often mistaken for a person who has something in their eye.

I once got a wink when I gave The Winker directions to another office. My wink came with a cocked thumb and index finger. Pointing at me. With that little click of the tongue.

Others received winks as they passed in the hallway. One person received her wink from across the department, accompanied by an extended arm and pointing finger. The wink victim came directly to my office for translation assistance. I had no idea.

I winked at work once. I believed I cleverly helped a high level executive figure something out, and winked at him. I was immediately horrified, and grateful that he seemed to ignore it. I put myself on immediate wink restriction. There would be no more winking, period. It was clear it could easily get out of control.

Apparently, The Winker had never set such restrictions. She averaged four winks a week. That, my friends, is a lot of eyelash batting. Particularly when they serve no purpose, unless you are attempting to borrow cash from a Vegas Sugar Daddy.

I hope I do not get put in the position of ever having to say something to a winker, but if it comes to that I have been practicing my questions. Do you need Visine? Glasses? Someone (not me) to blow in your eye? Antipsychotic drugs?

Of course, I'm just kidding about the last one. *wink*

1 comment:

Dilly said...

I have a thumbs-up guy. He stops by my office and says "having fun yet?" and puts up two thumbs. If I said no, would he change them to thumbs down? Oh, he also shrugs his shoulders so the thumbs-up have question marks hovering above them.

I hate this man.