Sunday, January 27, 2008

Parent Slacker

Before I recently gave birth, I daydreamed about impressing visitors when they came to see to meet our newest family members. The children would be perfectly bathed and dressed in cute outfits. I would be smartly coiffed and dressed, and serve tea in stunning cups poured from a silver teapot.

I do not own a silver teapot.

So far, I have greeted visitors in various stages of physical distress. Today, friends arrived and were greeted by a make-up free, broken out face - this after I kept them waiting in the living room because I was still in the shower when they arrived. Despite the fact that they called to let me know how far away they were and I knew, pretty much, exactly when they were due.

It gets better.

My twins, who I intended all morning to bathe and dress in the aforementioned cute outfits, had had their baths sacrified in favor of pumping breastmilk several times and a nap. The outfits were still laid out on the dresser, and my somewhat stinky and sticky infants were still dressed in their nightclothes and the attendent spitup stains. I arrived downstairs to find my husband had already deposited our cleanliness challenged daughter into the arms of our friend, who sat in our living room amongst scattered infant contraptions and - new living room decor alert! - an actual changing table we have temporarily relocated from the nursery.

Classy.

And my parenting skills? Stellar. Not wanting to abandon my guests and trudge back upstairs for the bottle warmer, and not wanting to abandon my conversation for the kitchen, I warmed a bottle up via hot water from the powder room sink, then proceeded to babble on about breastmilk, pumping boobs and the state of my son's interest in feeding from my body.

I shudder to recall. I shall have to rethink my daydream and draft new goals. Goals such as ending my shower before people arrive, and actually bathing my children in a timely manner. I will perhaps consider banning the entrance of any bottle into any bathroom. And surely I will eventually relocate the changing table to a more appropriate venue within my house.

Yep. Battin' a thousand.

3 comments:

Crystal said...

I think you have to manage your own expectations, silly. You're doing an amazing job and you're the only one questioning your parenting because of a changing table in the living room. We STILL have the changing table in the living room (pack & play) and make no apologies for it. We're parents, darn it!!

Tulips said...

Glad to see you back blogging! Congrats to your avatar - I see she is also a proud mother to new twins. ;-)

MzMannerz said...

LOL Crystal, trust me: after sixteen years of parenting my expectations are already in the gutter. I was just presenting a lighthearted look. :)