Monday, February 11, 2008

Mr. Sandman's Secrets

Once again, I could be a millionaire.

What with all the people making piles of money by putting in book form the same baby sleep tips all of our grandmothers would tell us if we would just ask (my grandmother calls the hugely popular Cry It Out method 'letting the baby cry for a while before you go rushing in at every whimper' and has for the past seventy years), I figure I could jump on the bandwagon with my stunning sleep discovery made just hours ago.

I placed my newborns in their infant swings sometime after 1am and the little minxes made not a peep until nearly 5:30am this morning. Thus leading to the conclusion:

Perhaps babies sleep better in infant swings and the like than they do in bassinets and cribs. Thus leading to the conclusion:

Perhaps babies sleep better when they are in contraptions we normally place them in when we are awake. Thus leading to the conclusion:

Perhaps babies sleep better when they are tricked into believing that we are still awake. Lightbulbs! Fireworks! Six Figure Advance!

It makes evolutionary sense, since way back when everyone couldn't have slept at the same time. Someone would have to have minded the cave entrance and sorted things out with the T Rex's, yes?

I recently read about a mother who puts her child to bed in a carseat placed in a crib. Baby sleeps for hours. Compare this to my sister, who slept in a crib or bed consistently and did not sleep through the night until she was five.

Man, I need an agent.

1 comment:

AmandaPan23 said...

Oh, yeah -- the swing is the best! I think Brett slept in that thing nonstop untile he was 3 months old. :) Now please split your advance with me. :P