Wednesday, June 19, 2013

When You're Sixteen Going On Seventeen...

...you're really no different than when you're thirty nine going on forty. Not if you're me.

I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I'm having the opposite of a mid life crisis. Well, I assume. Having never experienced a mid life crisis I can only guess it's when you start to feel dissatisfaction with where your life is and a fear that what you know now is it - it's never going to be better.

I feel quite a bit of satisfaction about most of my life, so that's not the problem. And I don't feel like the parts of my life that are less than satisfactory are never going to be better.

What I feel is overwhelmed by choices.

Women battled hard to give my generation choices. We have tons of 'em. We can stay home and raise the kids. We can stay home and work. We can stay home and work and raise the kids. We can go to an office for work. We can go to the Tundra. We can decide not to have kids. We can marry. Or not. Brick house, or siding. Keep our maiden names, or change it when we get married. We can open our own businesses or work for someone else.

And if you're me, the options before you are like a mountain. Yes, you climb it one step at a time, but where should you place your foot first? I find it overwhelming. I definitely don't want to return to an era where I'm property and my father hands me over to my husband, and I make zero decisions for myself.

Mostly.

I'm kidding.

I need to dust off my ability to choose, instead of floundering in front of the mountain, unhappy that I'm not at the peak, but taking no steps to reach it.




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