Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Self Help Book Ideas

Based on recent conversations, I have decided there is a need for self help books on the following subjects:

1. How Not To Be Found Dead In Your Hotel Room 
This seems easy enough to avoid with tactics such as not checking into a hotel room when you're as high as a kite and never taking naps while under the influence of drugs unless you are napping in the ER, yet not a year passes without someone famous dying in a hotel room. This book would be for them.

2. It's Not You, It's Their Kids
A gem for those feeling neglected by friends. Your friends still like you, but their twins start swinging from the chandeliers whenever Mommy gets on the phone. It's not personal.

3. Surviving Four To Eight Years With The Person You Didn't Vote For In Office
This has seemed especially challenging for some. No, you don't need to "take back our country" or "move to Canada" or post photoshopped pictures of people you don't like hobnobbing with global war criminals. Anyway, it's much more efficient and financially rewarding to just become a lobbyist.

4. You Don't Look Fat In Those Pants
...and other answers to questions you should just stop asking people now, because you don't really want the truth anyway.

5.You're Not Independently Wealthy Because You're Terrible With Money And Lack True Motivation.
Oh wait. That one is just for me. Carry on.