Monday, November 10, 2014

Age Old

I like to tease my grandmother. When I was in high school, she used to warn me that she may not be around to see me graduate high school because she was old.

She was around to see my son graduate high school and she's holding steady.

She really claimed being old, though. Very early, all things considered, and this weekend I realized that while most people put in effort to be young for as long as possible, it's probably very comfortable to do the opposite: to be old as long as possible.

I could start being old now. Consider the benefits. Drawstring waists in all my pants being among the bigger ones. Random discounts at coffee shops and Goodwills. A membership in AARP. I don't really know what AARP does, exactly, but it must be compelling because pretty much everyone joins it.

Then there are the people on metro leaping out of their seats so I can sit down. I don't ride the metro, but maybe I would if I were guaranteed a seat every time. And is the thought of taking out your teeth every night really so bad? Think about how clean and refreshing that must feel, to have teeth that soaked in cleanser all night. They must be as smooth as glass.

Okay - my grandmother, who is in her nineties, has her own teeth. But the rest of it... well, really the pants. The pants sound phenomenal. I could start with the pants now and work my way up. It's in my bones.

Which are aching right now, so it kind of makes sense.


Brandi said...

Ha! So funny!! You crack me up! I've already resorted to drawstring pants!!! LOL

Tulips said...

Thoroughly enjoyed this